Personal
In pursuit of happiness
This is a follow-up to yesterday’s post. I realised that I was perhaps too harsh, or maybe too frank in my criticism of “people who chase money”, to put it in my own words. I don’t know how many people took offence to the criticism, but I feel obliged to explain. When I said I did not understand why people would want to work weekends, I certainly did not mean to demean or belittle their effort in any way. I realise that employees of call centres, IT companies, doctors, and many others are obliged to work weekends due to the nature of their job, or personal commitment to it, or other reasons. My point is this: For every 10 hours I put in at work, I need at least one to put my feet up and relax. And, that is just my personal opinion. People are free to disagree. This statement is not meant to be a criticism of the way others function, but merely an observation on the world I see around me.
That said, I still believe that happiness lies in enjoying the little things in life. Let me give you an example. I may be a millionaire, travelling around the world in a private jet. But, what’s the point if I cannot lie on the terrace on a starry night, and try to identify constellations the way I used to when I was 10? Happiness, for me, is simply that. The sound of the flower-seller on the street, the hum of the car engine next door, that begins to resemble a roar every now and then. It is also the pleasure of watching a movie with my someone special. Or even writing on my blog. I love the small things life has to offer. I would hate to give it all up for success. After all, I only have one life…
Happiness…
I came across this blog post today, when I was browsing recommended feeds on my Google Reader homepage. If you ever happen to read this Abhi (writer of the post), please know that I agree. Although it’s difficult to be quite so content with oneself, happiness is not in chasing money or hurrying through life, planning for tomorrow. After all, didn’t someone say, “Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans?” Happiness is doing what you feel like, when you feel like it. As Abhi says, it doesn’t mean you are not ambitious. It doesn’t mean you stay idle. It simply means you don’t forget to live your life today while planning for tomorrow.
Happiness is a state of mind. I am no philosopher, and hence incapable of elaborating any meaningful theory on it. But, for me, happiness is remembering the little things that make life worth living. I may be a millionaire in 30 years, but what purpose would it serve if I alienated all those close to me in the process of making those millions? Happiness is curling up in bed with a bowl of popcorn and a good book. Happiness is talking to Anand over phone for hours, until one of us falls asleep. Happiness is watching the rain with a cup of hot chocolate, in the safe haven of your house. Happiness is also playing with the twins next door, knowing fully well that one of them will start bawling the moment I try to pick them up.
I will never understand why people give up their weekends and working days for the sake of money. I work weekends too, but then, I work only weekends. I am free the rest of the time. And take time off to do what pleases me. My cousin has a huge house, a fat pay packet, all the latest gadgets and more money than she could possibly spend. But, one thing that’s conspicuously missing is the time to enjoy what she has. If I manage to be so successful some day, I would probably take time off to go do a Ph.D, or teach kids at kindergarten. But, whatever I do, I just hope I never get carried away by the race for money and compromise by basic values or tastes. God, help me never become a robot…
Randomness…
That’s it! The verdict is out. The National Highways department of India is filled with nut cases. Not the crispy crunchy variety you can eat, but the ones that have escaped mental asylums from God knows where. What else do I call engineers of the Public Works Department who choose to block half a kilometre of highway for road-laying just about half an hour before peak hour? Did they ever stop to consider how people will get from Point A to Point B, given that there are absolutely no alternate routes available? The highway is question is the section of Poonamalee High Road beyond the Koyambedu Circle, which was blocked today, between 4 and 5:30 PM, ostensibly for road repairs. Result: Hundreds of vehicles piled up, honking trucks, intolerable dust, and absolutely no way out of the mess. Sigh! If only I were Urban Development Minister…
And then, there is this article by Peter Roebuck in the Sydney Morning Herald. Setting aside the cricket part, please focus on the second paragraph.
“Yes, India has its castes and colours. It is imperfect. But it has also had in recent years a Sikh prime minister, a Muslim president and a white, female, Catholic widow leading its main political party.”
Nothing wrong with this one, yes? But, a short while ago, the sentence read thus.
“Yes, India has its castes and colours. It is imperfect. But it has also had in recent years a Sikh president, a Muslim prime minister and a white, female, Catholic divorcee leading its main political party.”
And, left me, and another blogger wondering when Mrs. Gandhi divorced Rajiv. Did he not die before they got to divorce? And, wasn’t Abdul Kalam the President and Manmohan Singh the Prime Minister? Or am I getting my facts wrong? This is symptomatic of what’s ailing the media today. A well-read newspaper does not bother to verify facts, or edit the article before publishing it. And, that should also give us a vague idea about what to expect from the Aussies when we go there. I will be greatly reassured if they don’t mistake me for a Red Indian.
Finally, I recently read this blogpost by Christina. I have disagreed with her on many counts before. But on this one… I really wish lynching was not punishable by law. Different by design? What the hell? I, for one, am convinced you can learn pretty much anything irrespective of your sex. Some people are wired to make cars start by rubbing two wires together; others are not. I am not, but neither are many of my male friends. And, I seriously doubt Anand can fix his motorbike if it refuses to start one day. He will probably wheel it to the nearest garage to see what’s wrong. As if this Mrs. Paine’s self-deprecating lament is not enough, she claims that God meant men and women to do things specifically suited to them. What the hell? Cooking is supposed to be a woman’s job. I personally know men (both within the family and outside) who cook better than most women I know. I also know women who can fix a broken pipe or jump start a car as well as any man. Sure, each one has different competencies. But, that is hardly gender-specific. So, Mrs. Paine, if you ever get to read this, remember one thing. You are free to tell the world you a bloody idiot who can’t tell a light bulb from a switch board, but don’t drag God into the affair. He (or She) created us all equals. It is up to us to make use of what He/She gave us.
PS: Yes. The feminine for God was intentional. After all, the Mother Goddess is supposed to be omnipotent in Hindu mythology…
The ones we love…
Many of you must have seen the new ad campaign launched by Canara Bank. “We change for the ones we love”, goes the tag line. It touches a cord, and gives meaning to the image makeover that the bank is hoping to publicise. But, I read a rather interesting, but slightly misguided commentary on the Youth Curry blog by Rashmi Bansal. She admits that the campaign is far more successful and meaningful than the recent SBI campaign (which I don’t really remember). But, goes on to claim that making to many adjustments and changes leads to a loss of one’s identity.
“We change little by little but it all adds up. You make a million small changes or ‘adjustments’ as they say and poof! Your own identity gets completely lost.”
Now, that is making a mountain out of a molehill. As one commentator points out, “I love XYZ, but I will not change for him/her” is too hard-line a stance and such a attitude will hardly make for a harmonious relationship. At the same time, one cannot sacrifice everything for the ones we love. But, honestly, I don’t see what’s wrong in making the effort to understand golf, or cricket or football so that you can enter your loved one’s world for at least some time. That does not mean you go golfing ever day. But, it surely would not hurt to try. There is a reason people fall in love. They see something in the other that draws them in and binds them in a relationship. It may be his obsessive love for sport, his ability to make you feel great or quite simply his honesty in relationships. Whatever it is, it is worth preserving.
Ms. Bansal is quite objective for the major portion of her post. But, she begins to falter when she
says that it’s mostly the women who make more compromises. Here I am, championing the underdog’s case, once again, simply because nobody seems to see the other side. Many men make compromises, adjustments or whatever else you choose to call it for the women they love. A mother learning Punjabi to welcome her new daughter-in-law, or a father trying to share his daughter’s love for music is hardly exaggerated. We are all human, and we try to make the people in our lives as happy as we can. If that means making some changes, trying to understand and appreciate the other, or do things we would not normally do, so be it.That said, Ms. Bansal hits the nail on the head with her concluding words,
“You gotta spend time together but also give each other some space! And this applies to all you boyfriend-girlfriend types as well.”
Trust me, it’s much simpler to go book-shopping or clothes-shopping alone, that with a reluctant and grumpy boyfriend in tow. If he doesn’t like it, leave him alone. He would rather spend the afternoon lazing around on the couch watching cricket that following you around in Health&Glow or Landmark, doing something he absolutely detests. It is up to us, as individuals, to draw the line between making compromises and changing voluntarily. Problems arise only when those lines get blurred.
Musings…
Yes, I know it’s been ages since I blogged on anything meaningful. A death in the family creates circumstances that are not exactly conducive to serious blogging. But this article caught my attention on Christmas day. Coupled with another article stating that a man had been mauled to death trying to photograph a tiger in the Guwahati Zoo, it brought home the role of fate and destiny in a man’s life. One came to the zoo to see tigers and other assorted animals. By a bizarre twist of fate, and by deliberately ignoring the guards’ warnings, he lost his life. I wonder if he knew, when he left home that he would never return. The other came with the intention of dying, not for the first time, but the third. His equally bizarre fate ensured that he did not die. Instead he survived, albeit with a heavily-scarred face.
Much as we vigorously debate that Man is the maker of his own destiny, the fact remains that there are things that are beyond our control. Like life. And death. It is a humbling thought, when we realise that life is transient…as transient as a bubble…