…is all I can feel in the pit of my stomach. Don’t ask me why and about what I am nervous. If I knew it, I wouldn’t be writing this. I have mentioned somewhere before that I seem to share some sort of psychic connection with Julie. Read this post, and you’ll know why. I’ve felt this way for almost two weeks now. As Julie puts it, as if I have accidentally left my inner peace somewhere. I ignored it at the outset, thinking it would go away if I pretended it wasn’t there. But, you know how problems are. They have a nasty habit of resurfacing just when you think they have disappeared for good. I’ve been strangely buoyant since morning. I knew, when I was feeling euphoric, that this nervousness would be back before long. In the midst of all the work, the problems, the developments, and the breaks, somewhere out there, I am still nervous. Those butterflies in my stomach are refusing to settle.
There is a sense of unease about the way I feel right now. As if I am going to write an exam tomorrow. As if I am flying abroad for the first time. As if I am waiting to hear about my admission into Sciences Po. As if I am waiting to find out if I can afford to study abroad. All this, and more. I feel like I am waiting for something more important than any of these things rolled into one. I don’t know why. Sigh! Sometimes, life keeps you waiting rather long. So long that you wonder if it’s worth waiting any more. You can convince yourself, if you knew what you were waiting for. But, in my case, I don’t even know that! I don’t know why am so tense, uneasy and nervous. Why? Why, my lord, why?