Random thoughts…

I know I’ve been missing in action for quite some time now. First, I promise to be a regular blogger, as opposed to a lazy one, henceforth. Yes…I do! Every time I read something interesting, I make a mental note to write about it. But between work, family, brand new fiancé and wedding madness, blogging seems to take a back seat. Every single time. But there are some things that have been on my mind for some time now. It’s all very random, as the post title suggests, but here we go!

What’s this Slut Walk business? Yes, I do agree with the principle behind it. No woman should have to cover up simply because men are tempted enough to rape and blame the woman for it. And yes, I also agree that how I dress is not a reflection of my character. But, I have a problem with the term Slut Walk. I am not a slut. No matter how many times we claim words need to be reclaimed, the fact remains that the term is an affront to a woman’s character. No woman deserves to be called a slut. Just like no woman deserves to be raped. Just as I didn’t get the point behind the Pink Chaddi campaign and refused to donate my precious underwear to some pervert, I also refuse to participate in this walk that is so popularly called Slut Walk. Every word in this blogpost by Ritu strikes a chord. And, I agree. I have a problem with the term. Words carry meaning, both implied and explicit. And I refuse to accept the use of the term slut for any woman.

Now, onto the next! I have been reading a lot of posts on joint families and in-laws and marriages of late. And I have also been reading uber-feminist posts on what a marriage entails. I can’t help but think, when I read some of these posts that some women want to take offence to everything all the time. Don’t get me wrong. As I said before, nobody has the right to tell an adult how to dress and what to buy. I am all for freedom and independence. But sometimes, I really feel that some women tend to go overboard with their complaints. I mean, how is it fair to refuse to live with parents for any length of time just because some adjustments are required? I grew up in a joint family. I am none the worse for it. For all I know, my in-laws will decide to stay with us permanently after S and I get married. How is it fair on my part to refuse that? To me, feminism is not about absolute freedom to do what I want. It is to be subjected to the same restrictions and rules that I would have been had I been a man. It is not to be treated any differently because of my gender. I know I am probably going to tread on a lot of toes when I say this, but I think we all need to learn some adjustment. Adjustment, not compromise. And yes, there is a difference.

And finally, a thought on arranged marriages. Granted, I am not married yet. But, I will be in a few months. And I am getting married to man who was introduced to me by my parents. And today, I am already being forced to eat my words on arranged marriages. I have said earlier that arranged marriages are unworkable. But today, I think I was wrong. Completely wrong. And I am glad about that!