Why I write…

I don’t know where to start if I must answer this question. But, wait a minute? Why am I even asking myself this? Mainly because I read this post, and it triggered off a whole range of emotions and thoughts. Goofy Mumma wants to know if I would approach a well-known blogger in public. I don’t know. But, would I mind being approached? Certainly not. Goofy Mumma, like many other popular bloggers I regularly read, blogs anonymously. I certainly wouldn’t be able to recognize someone I have not seen in person. But, my thoughts at this point are somewhat different. When I started this blog, I had a choice: to choose an interesting pseudonym, or to blog under my own real name. Strangely, I never realized I had this choice in the first place until my blog had accumulated a fair number of readers, and until I started following popular bloggers, many of whom chose to remain anonymous.

Sometimes, I wish I had reflected a bit more before jumping into the fray. There have been times when I have felt like giving up blogging altogether. I have been slandered, called un-religious, characterless, and many other things for speaking my mind. I have been bogged down by these comments, felt like quitting. The fact that my parents and relatives, in addition to my Facebook friends and friends elsewhere read my blog makes it worse. There is always this nagging feeling that I am going to be judged on what I say by someone I know. Sometimes, I wonder why I chose to blog under my real name. Sometimes I feel I should just take down everything that I have written because it reveals too much of me to complete strangers. But then, I stop myself before it’s too late. I stop myself because I stand by every word I have ever written. Each word reflects a part of me, my opinions, my feelings and my reactions at a given point. Maybe being so open is a problem. This society refuses to acknowledge or accept that a woman can have such strong opinions or speak her mind about things as sensitive. But I would rather face censure for what I have to say on my blog than have to hide and lead an existence of hypocrisy. I’d much rather reveal myself to the world and be what I want to be, than pretend to be someone I am not, just to make someone else happy. Am I wrong? Am I being foolishly outspoken? Only time will tell.