A very special post

When I started this blog two years ago, I never, in my wildest dreams, imagined it would come this far. Today, I complete 200 posts on this blog. It’s taken me the better part of three years to get here. And the journey hasn’t been easy. I have grown, evolved, and learnt from this blog. What started as a trivial experiment a couple of days before my 24th birthday has become one of the most important things in my life: my creative outlet, my very special online diary. And for any blogger, the 200th post is a very special milestone. So is it for me. As I said, I have changed, learnt, grown up, fallen in love, broken up…all during this time. And some people have been there for me through every step: friends who mean a lot, and can make a difference. I have spoken earlier about my (now) ex. But, never have I mentioned a single friend by name. Not in any serious breath anyway. I think it is now time to introduce each of them. Each is special, in their own way. So, here we go!

Nandini: I think about her and tears well up in my eyes. I have spoken about it before, but somehow can never get everything I feel out on paper. She was a friend, a confidante, even a sister I never had. Not many people understand this, but that’s the complete truth. I only wished she had lived long enough to see me as I am today. If only I could have got one chance…just one chance to tell her how much she meant to me. It still hurts when I realise I will never hear her scream in excitement over the phone again; when I realise that she will never again be there, solid as a rock, next to me when I am in trouble. May her soul rest in peace, in the knowledge that there was someone to whom she meant the world.

Tamanna: Another friend, a confidante too. Her judgement is spot on about most things. Slightly crazy but very loyal: that’s the only way I can describe her. She has never hesitated in telling me I was wrong. She has called me arrogant, difficult, adamant and egoistic, but has still stood by me through the worst times of my life, and hers. Never scared of criticising, she once told me that winning was not everything. She told me that sometimes one needed to lose to be able to understand the true meaning of life. And that is a lesson I have never forgotten. And never will.

Karthik: This is someone I have stood by, rejected, treated like shit, and pushed away. But every time I have really had a problem, he has been there. To listen, to rationalise, to explain and to understand. I sometimes wonder how a man can be so damned patient. I once told him that he never argues. He just listens. And he told me that sometimes, it is more important to listen and understand that to talk and convince. I don’t know if I will ever be able to imbibe that lesson. But I am trying my best.

Pratibha: My closest friend to date, after Nandini. We share practically every little piece of news: from murungakka sambar Amma makes to the latest movie we would like to watch together. She is another person whose judgement is spot on, but only about me. When it comes to herself, she can be the most confused individual in the world. We gel so well that sometimes it seems most natural that we be the best of friends. May this friendship last all our lives…

Sankhya: Now, what do I say? I am jealous of this guy! He is a walking, talking encyclopaedia. He can talk for hours about PG Wodehouse, cricket matches and Asterix and Obelix, all in the same breath and without missing a beat. Talking to him is so bloody taxing on the brain that sometimes I need to take a break and talk about non-intellectual things. I would give anything to be half as intelligent. And I must admit I am a long way off from there. And yes, he is the only person I know who uses the word humbug!!

Sriram: I have known this guy for almost 7 years now, but became a real friend less than 3 months ago. We can talk for hours, about a lot of things: politics, philosophy, theatre, religion, work, love, life…name it and we have talked about it. The one guy I know who is a feminist at heart but vigorously, and with a certain amount of vehemence, rejects that tag. He calls himself a humanist. But, conveniently forgets that feminism is also a kind of humanism. He can be infuriating, irritating, funny and serious, all at the same time. He cares, in a way that is heart-warming. You know he is right, when he decides to advise, even when the advice is too bitter to take. But, ultimately, you also know that’s the best thing to do. Sometimes, I wonder why I took so long to make him a real friend, rather than just an acquaintance. But as they say, better late than never.

Just one more word to all these people. Thanks for being there when I needed you most.