Personal

  • Education,  Personal,  Society and Institutions

    Of percentages and related things…

    I just discovered maidinmalaysia’s blog. And man! It’s awesome. And this post in particular reminded me that I haven’t blogged for a while. I so totally agree with everything she says, that I don’t really know where to start. She says she has three problems with this percentage business. I have many, many more.

    1. As MIM says, it doesn’t show a thing about you. Zilch. Zero. You may get an astronomical percentage in your exams, but that doesn’t mean you are intelligent. You may barely touch sixty, and it doesn’t show you are stupid. It merely shows how much you can mug up and vomit during the three hours you are forced to sit in an exam hall.
    2. How much you score in an exam, has absolutely nothing to do with what you in life post-school. Your marks should not determine your fate. Unfortunately for us, that’s exactly what it does. A person must be judged on aptitude and not rote memory. Our present educational system puts absolutely no emphasis on creativity, aptitude or intelligence.
    3. Marks are not, and can never be, a judge of character. People who score less than average marks are not necessarily inferior to toppers. They deserve no less than those who score high in examinations. I will never understand the air of superiority with which high scorers strut around, especially in academic and scholastic circles.
    4. MIM got me started on the whole science vs. humanities debate. Now, I will never shut up. It galls me when people give me looks of derision when I say I am a History graduate. Or when they say that someone with a 50 percent in the final exam can only get a seat in the History department. I am angry that History, Politics, Fine Arts and other social sciences are somehow considered inferior to the natural and physical sciences. I get extremely pissed off when people tell me that any fool can get a degree in the Arts. I feel like telling them to try. I feel like challenging them that it’s impossible to do.

    Society plays a major role in influencing a person’s options. While the mind acknowledges this fact and sees the logic behind people sticking to Engineering or Medicine as a career choice, my heart still pleads for sanity sometimes. The problem does not lie with the subjects per se, but with the perception that only people who do Engineering and medicine can be successful. One comment on MIM’s post made me realise this harsh reality. Ultimately, for most people, education is not about acquisition of knowledge. It’s about acquiring a passport to a better life. I beg your pardon. A richer life. Period. Whether you like studying what you study is immaterial. What is important is whether it gets you the moolah. Maybe I am getting a bit cynical. But sadly, that’s the way the world works. I wonder if this attitude will ever change. If we, as a people, as a society and a culture, will ever get around to accepting that other subjects (read the soft options) are as good as the hard sciences. I can only hope it changes by the time my children get to college. At least.

  • Humour,  Personal

    An image makeover…and some more

    I know I promised a more coherent and meaningful post soon, but this is not it. I am still in makeover mood and coherent thought is impossible until that’s complete. 🙂

    The other day, I got a haircut and bought some great clothes. Today, i went one step further. After extensively analysing the pros and cons getting my nose pierced, I finally went and did it! Now, let me give you a background. This nose piercing business is at least a decade old. I wanted to get it done, first when I was in school, then in college. In school, it was a passing thought, but in college, it became somewhat of an obsession. One fine day, I proudly announced to my mother that I was going to get it done. And to her credit, she supported me in this endeavour. However, the villian of the piece turned out to be my aunt.

    While debating the best side to pierce, my aunt said that it was convention to get the right side pierced before marriage and the left after it. Now, may I add here that I was rather adamant in wanting the left nostril pierced. To this, my aunt vehemently objected, emphasizing for added effect that it was against Madhwa protocol to do so before the wedding. Now, if I may say so myself, anything that is deemed to be against Madhwa protocol becomes my personal protocol. So, here I was, adamant that if my nose was ever pierced, it would be the left nostril. My grandmother added to the confusion saying that both her nostrils were pierced before marrriage. So, in the debating process, the actual idea of getting the nose pierced disappeared into oblivion.

    Six years hence, in my desire to get an image makeover, I decided this morning to get my nose pierced. My mother, again to be credited, gave her go-ahead. My aunt, trying to confuse again said that it was only Tamilians who pierced their left nostril before marriage. At which point, I decided enough was enough and declared that I was going to get the left nostril pierced, whatever protocol that may follow. If I had to convert to Iyerism for it, so be it!!

    So, here I am. With my left nostril pierced. I finally won a six year-old battle to get my nose pierced. Now, I have a nose stud on my left nostril. And yes, I forgot to mention that the stud is in diamond and I am a good six thousand rupees poorer because of it. On second thoughts, maybe I should never have tickled the sleeping dragon. My nose hurts. I never knew there were these many nerves on the damned thing. Everyone tells me the pain will disappear in a day or two. Meanwhile, I keep my fingers crossed hoping I will not contract any infection because of that terrible ordeal I went through for a measly nose stud. Will keep you posted!

  • Feminism,  Personal

    Happy women’s day!

    Yet another Women’s Day goes by, rather uneventfully. Everyone has paid the appropriate lip service to the cause. Everyone has appropriately wished every women they know a very happy women’s day. By sending forwarded text messages of course. But, where is the real freedom? A couple of days ago, there was this post on a climate of fear that our dear friends from the Ram Sena have created in Bangalore. Today, Nimmy talks of how commentators on a TOI article equate working women with being un-feminine. So, where is the freedom? Where is the dignity and respect?

    The comments on the TOI article are especially outrageous. Each commentator brags about how Indian family values are halping women and protecting them. But, where are the women reading these articles? Why is nobody saying anything to these chauvinist bastards? Even today, a woman has to earn less than a man for her marriage to be happy. Sure, not all women are suppressed. But, exceptions do not make the rule. Sadly, the reality bites for a large majority of women. Also, why is an educated and financially independent woman considered un-feminine? Why is she less of a mother or wife than a homemaker? And the word homemaker itself…I hate it. I prefer calling them stay-at-home moms or wives. Homemaker sounds like an apology.

    Many of these people claim women are free. They can do what they want to. They are equal. That we feminists (that’s supposed to be an insult) are fighting for no reason. But tell me. How can a woman be equal when a system as unfair as dowry still exists? I know of someone who has five daughters. In trying to get the third of the five daughters married, she encounters numerous problems. The girl works in an MNC in the US. But, for a man (half as qualified and good-looking as her), she must pay 350 sovereigns in gold,  5 diamond jewels (necklace, long chain, bangles, earrings, rings etc.) and 2 lakhs in cash. Oh, and I forgot. She must also pay EMI for that fancy house the guy has bought in a remote corner of Chennai last year. That works out to another 35,000 rupees a month. Not to mention that she must forget her parents the moment she get married. And yes, the parents are required to make an appearance with more cash and gold every time the girl has a baby. Unfair, you think? Unfortunately, nobody else seems to think so. I asked the lady why she couldn’t refuse. She tells me her daughter will never get married then. And if the daughter falls in love? God forbid! That would be the ultimate sacrilege. She must be sold off like cattle to the highest bidder. Only this time, the cattle will pay for itself.

    It’s annoying. We live in a man’s world. We may not like to accept it, but the harsh reality. Real freedom will come when we can wear what we feel like and not be ogled at. It will come when we don’t require a male escort to come back home late from work. It will come when we can unwind in a pub with a glass of wine in hand, without having to worry about which hooligan will barge in and molest us. It will come only when a well-educated, working woman will have the choice not to pay dowry to get married. It will come when parents have the guts to tell such grooms to go to hell. Until then, we need to remind ourselves of the existence of the silent half of humanity. We need to continue to celebrate International Women’s Day.

  • Humour,  Personal,  Tagged!

    The random things tag

    Madhu, a good friend, tagged me on Facebook. Since more people read my blog than my notes, and my notes are imported into Facebook anyway, I decided to do this on my blog. So, here we go. The rules are simple. Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

    Here we go!

    1. I am short-tempered and hyper-sensitive. But, I can keep my cool very long while teaching.
    2. I love bike rides. When the weather is cool, the road empty, and someone else is driving that is.
    3. One thing I hate doing is washing the dishes. I can cook, clean, mop, rinse. But dishes make me cry. 🙁
    4. I can’t resisting blogging about things that I find especially provocative.
    5. I am a compulsive debater, much to the chagrin of my close friends. This is because they find that they can never talk sense into me without me disagreeing.
    6. I love spinach. Of any kind and in any form.
    7. I am vegetarian, although the roasted chicken in the oven of my neighbourhood butcher in Paris looked delicious. 😛
    8. I find it difficult to talk to idiots, and to those who refuse to recognise they are idiots.
    9. People can make friends with me if they just spoke to me intelligently.
    10. When I get too angry, I start crying. So, people don’t know if I am sad or angry.
    11. I love to sing, even if others don’t like listening to me.
    12. I hate dancing. I have been resisting all attempts to make me dance.
    13. I cannot stand physical activity. It bores me, and tires me out.
    14. I like kids only if they don’t cry.
    15. I am greatly affected by personal insults and name-calling, even if I ignore it sometimes. That explains my decision to delete some of the comments to my previous posts.
    16. I find it difficult to think so much about myself.
    17. I sometimes wish I had a better sense of humour when I write. My friends accuse me of being too serious on my blog.
    18. In real life, I am rarely confrontational. I avoid conflict situations and try to maintain a balance in life.
    19. When someone says something nasty to me, I am incapable of coming up with a suitable comeback. It only strikes me 5 hours later.
    20. I am a punctuality freak. I get paranoid if I am not at least 15 minutes early to office.
    21. I would never forgive someone who bitched about me behind my back.
    22. Sometimes I wish people would shut up and let me concentrate on my work.
    23. I love talking. I was in fact labelled Ms. Talkative at work. 🙂
    24. I like dressing up sometimes. But most of the time, I don’t even use powder or cream.
    25. And finally, I quite organised. I can make to-do lists and cross them off periodically.

    There! Now, I simply refuse to bug 25 other people to do this. Anyone is free to pick this up. But, I would greatly appreciate it if Cris could do it, since she seems to be the only one around to have not done it yet. Anyway, here we go! And also IHM, Imp’s Mom, Dinesh and Nimmy. 🙂

  • Feminism,  Personal,  Religion,  Society and Institutions

    Of I-pills and fast women

    I am laughing rather hysterically making mom wonder if I have finally lost my sanity. 🙂 Our dear Mr. Kamat, who went around talking Hindutva crap on comments to my previous posts left a couple of more messages. In the first, he wonders if I am going to keep I-pills handy, because I am a fast woman and cheating is easy.

    But, wait a sec. Just why is the I-pill so bad? It’s a contraceptive method, like any other. And why is the use of an I-pill considered the hallmark of a “loose” woman? I don’t get it at all. And yes, if I am really characterless, wouldn’t I be so stupid as to not use regular protection? I am insulted! I have enough brains to decide what to do with my life.Sadly, this comment is not directed at me alone. Theer is a deeper malaise. One that equates sex with sin, love affairs with pre-marital sex and pre-marital sex with characterless behaviour. Why can’t people understand that to love is not a sin? To express that love physically much less. They just don’t get it do they?

    Also, the pill is supposed to be taken by women who cheat. But why? Why can’t I be married and happy, but not want or have kids? Why do I not, as a woman, have the right to my own body. People like Kamat, or Muthalik or anyone else don’t get one point. A woman is an individual in her own right. She is in control of her body. She has the right to decide when and with whom to sleep. She can also decide on whether and when she wants kids. Why is using an I-pill bad? I don’t think it is. Do you?

    Edit: Missed out a word in that last paragraph. It made it seem like I was supporting children having sex! Sorry for the mix-up. 😛