The European Adventure – I
Now, this is what I call blogging on the go. However, for lack of internet connection or even phone connection all day long, I will post my impressions gathered through the day at the end of the day when I get back to the hotel!
- First impressions: Rome is like Chennai. Taxis refusing to ply, cars parked on pavements, traffic lights that everyone ignores. Yay for Italy!
- Trying to find the hotel: Lost in Rome, when I requested help, a very nice couple took the trouble of directing me to the hotel, after having looked it up on their GPS. Sweet! Don’t think people in Paris would ever do that!
- Getting used to the idea of being alone with my thoughts and moods. Must bring a book and a pen along tomorrow. Makes it easier to write.
- There is something liberating about being able to go into a restaurant alone and order something to eat. Equally a relief is when people don’t wonder why someone would be vegetarian.
- Lunch! Just finished a decent meal after nibbling inedible morceaus in Paris. Cheers to the Italians who are so helpful. The guy actually made something for me that didn’t contain meat or fish.
- I am the only idiot waiting for a green signal to cross a road. Everyone else just walks.
- Just saw the most beautiful set of rosary beads. Pity I am not Christian and don’t know any religious ones. Would have bought one otherwise…
- I can buy condoms from a vending machine outside a pharmacy but not lip balm or BandAid. Strange place.
- People look happy. I actually see them smiling at others. So unlike Paris.
- There is something so beautifully peaceful about the St. Paul’s Basilica, that I couldn’t help praying at the chapel.
- These are men of God. Their devotion and faith touches the heart, however misguided the brain may claim it is.
- First pizza in Italy not impressive. Too salty and soggy. Damn my taste buds. They never seem satisfied.
And finally, I spent Valentine’s Day attending a special prayer (which was beautiful by the way) at the St. Paul’s Basilica and having dinner by myself in a pizzeria decked in red and while balloons! Can there be anything more…unusual?
I leave you with one picture to end the day!
Restlessness…
Sometimes I wonder what happened to me. I wonder where that fearless, outspoken accidental writer of the past disappeared. I wonder why I don’t write as frequently as before. In fact, if I were honest with myself, I would also acknowledge that I don’t write as honestly as before either. While I am still quite outspoken about things that do not directly concern me (politics and social mores for example), I find myself quite reticent when it comes to things that intimately concern me. I find myself often wondering how my family will react and what they will think about certain things that I write about. I find that this is a fairly recent occurrence. Every time I put words on screen, I find myself wondering if I should publish it. If I do publish it, I find myself wondering what people will think about it.
To be brutally frank, I hate the new me. I hate the fact that I have begun to obsessively look over my shoulder, trying to figure out what people think and what they will say. I am beginning to get restless. This is a restlessness that comes of having too many things to say and no-one to say it to. No. Scratch that. It’s a restlessness that comes of having too many things to say and not knowing how to say it. The mind is so full of things that I am forgetting how it is to let my hair down and have some fun. I am desperately waiting for the old me to resurface. God alone knows how long that’s going to take.
The freedom to choose…
Today is unique. The day will be remembered for all the wrong reasons by those who stand by freedom of choice, no matter how difficult it may be to accept. I will refrain from commenting on the Supreme Court’s ruling on Section 377 of the IPC, not because I think the courts are above criticism, but because I believe much has been said about it since morning by people more qualified to comment on it than me. But, what strikes me as representative of Indian attitudes is the constant reference to Indian culture, as if by speaking of sexuality in the public realm we somehow compromise on values.
The very fact that the judgement is today being criticized in the public sphere marks a step forward in Indian critical thought. It was not very long ago that the very mention of sex and sexuality in public was hushed up with moral indignation. The very crux of our problem with homosexuality is the reluctance to acknowledge and speak of some issues, especially sexual and gender-related in public. The Supreme Court in its judgement mentions “minuscule minorities” while referring to the LGBT community in general. And evidently, the rights of this minuscule minority are insignificant when compared to the sensibilities of the ignorant majority. For a country that prides itself on affirmative action for minorities, the LGBT community obviously does not qualify. They find little or no support from political parties who run to support minority rights for every other conceivable group. Perhaps because the community lacks the organization present in many other countries and because they do not form a vote bank?
As many commentators pointed out, the belief that homosexuality, bisexuality, transsexuality and transgender are against Indian culture is completely false. There are umpteen examples of homosexuality in Indian mythology and still more examples of the fluidity of gender in our socio-cultural fabric. Yet, we refuse to acknowledge these very truths in our everyday life.
We like our lives to be neatly ordered and fit perfectly into slots designed by society. When someone refuses to be slotted and classified, we have a problem. We label them as unnatural and abnormal. When such labelling occurs in private, the impact is relatively limited. But, by clubbing homosexuality with issues such as bestiality, rape, incest and child abuse we do a great disservice both to those who fight for gay rights and to those who deal with violent sexual crimes. Even in public discourse we fail to distinguish between what goes on within closed doors between consenting adults and unpardonable violence against men, women and children against their will and without their consent.
Unless we learn to speak of issues as sensitive as gay rights and sexual violence with a modicum of common sense, we are doomed to find extreme and contradictory views in public discourse. As long as our public debates remain superficial and limited in world view, we are doomed to live in a society that is both hypocritical and ignorant.And this is one more day…
…where I have nothing to say other than hello world. Yet, I persist in blogging every day…
The IT industry and the Indian family
If you watched Sun TV news earlier today you would have seen a special report on the decline of the Indian family. Now, I don’t really expect BBC level analysis from the likes of Sun TV, but I would definitely expect some sort of perspective to a phenomenon that is both complex and difficult to understand. The report claimed that there is an increase in divorce rates, especially among couples working in the IT industry.
We are all used to IT being reviled and blamed for all things from the devaluation of the Indian rupee to the breakdown of moral values ever since the boom of the late 90s. But, you would expect that journalists, visual media and analysts would bring in some perspective on this 15 years on. But, apparently not.
The report squarely places the blame for the increase in divorce rates and the breakdown of marriages on IT due to the long working hours, the commute from home to work and back and the lack of time for each other. This is not entirely untrue, I admit. However, the problem with such reports is that most of them tend to confuse correlation with causality. To say that divorce rates are increasing among couples working the in the IT industry is different from saying that IT causes divorce.
It is important at this point to understand other factors that have influenced this trend. A change in mindset is one of the most important factors. Divorce is no longer taboo. Even otherwise conservative parents are now willing to back their children in the decision to end a bad marriage. And, this is not necessarily a bad thing. Also, the newly-acquired financial independence (especially for women) gives them the courage to take difficult decisions.
Blaming IT without taking into consideration all the other societal factors at play is both juvenile and simplistic. The IT industry has changed the way we look at money and career. This change is here to stay. We need to stop making IT the villain of the piece if we need to really understand and tackle the changes wrought within the Indian family.