I park the car and get off. I look up to see a sight that takes my breath away. It’s a small but beautiful house. I walk up to the tiny wicket gate. An overgrown canopy of creepers arch over the entrance making the sight prettier than ever. I briefly wonder if I must take this risk. My mind goes back to our conversation of three hours ago.
I am in the middle of cleaning up when my phone rings. Annoyed at the interruption, I glance at it with the intention of silencing it and continuing with my work. I freeze at the name of my display. After the happenings of the last fifteen days, you are the last person I expect a call from. My tears threaten to break barriers. I thought this was over. A cold rage seizes me. What gave you the right to expect me to answer your call or speak to you when you’ve broken my trust in you?
I briefly consider ignoring the call and realise with a jolt that I’m not quite capable of that just yet. I reach over to answer the call with a calmness that belies the storm raging inside me. “Give me a chance to say sorry. Please.” These words trip over themselves in a desperation to make themselves heard. I give in.
Three hours later, here I am. In front of your house, following the directions you gave me. I consider turning around and driving back the three hours it took me to get here, to the comfort of my own home. But I also know the storm inside me will not calm until I face this.
I push past the wicket gate and under the canopy of creepers. I look around, taking in the beauty. The house feels familiar. Like you. Like home. The rains, the greens, the hills: they remind me of us. It’s somehow fitting that you asked me to come here instead of meeting me in a coffee shop in the plains.
I walk up the cobbled pathway to the verandah. I am still wondering if I should ring the bell or call your phone when I realise you’re right there, standing at the doorstep waiting patiently for me. My eyes meet yours and light up in a smile, almost involuntarily. I forget the last fortnight, the pain, the hurt. A part of me wants to fight and rage. The other part however, wants exactly the opposite. You smile back. A smile that would melt the most stubborn heart. You hold your hand out, as if asking me to put my hands in them. I sidestep. The internal struggle between rage and forgiveness is still raging inside me. You step aside to let me in.
I enter the house and freeze again. It’s exactly like I would have wanted my house to be. The furniture, the carpets, the little fireplace, the recliner next to it, the bookshelves, the décor. Everything. The struggle ends. I can no longer rage or fight. You offer your hand once again. This time, there is no hesitation. I take it in mine and come closer. I reach up and cup your face, and draw you into a deep kiss. You return my kiss with a passion that conveys every emotion you need to convey. This time, I know I can never leave you. I know that the fights, the arguments and the tears are only temporary. What’s permanent is this. This longing, this need for each other. We both know that we will never leave the other, no matter what happens.
You move your hands down my body, drawing me closer. You press yourself against me, conveying the desperate need for me. Outside, it begins to pour again. We can hear a storm raging outside the window. The heat inside however, it unbearable. I kiss you again, this time all over your face, your neck, your shoulders. I don’t want this to end. I want to offer all I have to you and make you mine. Tonight and forever. My kisses seem to trigger a very different kind of storm inside you. You become more aggressive, more demanding. My body responds to your every demand, as if anticipating it. You tug at my shirt, ripping off the buttons in one go. You guide me to the rug in front of the fireplace and lay me down gently.
My skin reflects the glow of the fireplace. You take charge and kiss me. You kiss every inch of my skin, exposing each part before giving it the love it deserves. The moistness between my legs and the swell of my breasts tell you exactly how much I want you. I raise my hips slightly offering you my body. You take it without hesitation, worshipping it in a way you’ve never done before. I melt into you, unable to offer any further resistance.
Hours later, we lie still in front of the fireplace, the dying embers still offering some warmth. You bring the quilt around us and hug me tighter. “Don’t leave me, babe. I will never be able to live with myself if you do. And forgive me for everything.” I respond to you by snuggling in closer. I know I will never leave you or push you away. No matter what happens.