As the title suggests, this post is a reflection on many issues, some pertinent and some frivolous. Yesterday, I was talking to my friend, who is Belgian. She seemed genuinely surprised that we, in India, could not take a vacation when we wanted to with the one we love. Not that my office would not sanction leave, but that going on a vacation with my boyfriend will not exactly be welcomed with open arms by anyone. She asked me what I would do if I wanted to spend some time alone with Anand? Well…good question, that. A question I have been struggling to answer for nearly 2 years. Let’s face it. It is not possible. I just have to content myself with sitting in a random Café Coffee Day and holding hands. About the holding hands bit…you can do it if you do not mind attracting some (unwanted) attention from some middle aged stuck-up women (or men) who choose to visit it then. Just why do I have to get married to Anand if I just want to spend some quality time with him, away from the blaring noise of Cafés that people like to label as music? Why do I have to be married to hold hands with him when I am feeling low or just want to express my love for him? I suppose I just have to accept the fact that in India, it is like that. The rest of the world dictates your life-style and choices. If we want the safety net of family, then this too is part of the package. The sooner I accept it, the better it is for me.
That brings me to the second thought of the day. Family…and people. I have never understood who all these people are and just why they are so interested in my personal life. During the difficult times involving arguments with mum over my relationship with Anand, she kept repeating only one thing. That she can not face people and answer them when they ask her why her daughter got married to someone who does not belong to the same caste. Just why does it matter to all these people that I am marrying out of caste. How does it affect them? I do not go around telling them to match-make for me. So, why is it that our family, extended family, friends, neighbours and even the extended neighbourhood decide to take the onus of finding me a suitable match on themselves. Are people really that jobless? Tell me if you know. All this just frustrates the life out of me. All I want is to live my life without these people breathing down my neck and scrutinising every move I make in life.