…four years ago, I gave in to Sankhya’s persuasion and announced that I was starting a blog. My first post is an embarrassment. But somehow, over time, this blog became my very own personal space; a space where I could rant and rave, a place where I could express my hopes, my fears, my desires, without fear of censure or criticism. I have often considered deleting this blog due to that nagging feeling that too much of me is available publicly. But, each time such a urge surfaces, I successfully fight it, because I know that there is nothing that I have said on this blog of which I need to be ashamed.
Even faced with a rather frustrating writer’s block for nearly over a month now, I have retained hopes that this blog will not die unnoticed. I have managed to keep checking it every few days for updates, comments, plugin maintenance and so on. Somehow, this has become so much a part of my life that it is hard to imagine myself without writing. Some time back, I had published a post on why I write. Today, I honestly don’t know. Somewhere along the line, I have become lethargic, pessimistic, and negative. The desire to write, to read, to publish has dimmed. So much so that I couldn’t care less about this any more. But this morning, when I woke up, there was only one thought in my head: about how much time and effort I had put in to sustain this blog, about how much it meant to me at one point. I told myself this morning that I would publish today, even if it was just a few seconds before midnight. And I intend to keep this promise. I also promise that I will be more regular henceforth. Not for anyone else, but for me. Pessimism, cynicism and negativism have no place in my life. I intend to go back to being the same bubbly self of the last 28 years. And my writing keeps me happy, creatively satisfied and motivated. I have no intentions of giving that up.
With this promise to myself, I will sign off now. A new template and a bit more colour is promised soon enough. Until then…it’s never adieu. Just au revoir!